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MAF 32

Journal Entry: Tue Dec 20, 2016, 5:40 AM


Christmas 2016 Livingroom by Cutiezor
1610s Waistcoat (Precut) by Null-EntityThe Lion and the Beasts by tallix
Happy holiday season greeting card 2017 by PinkaCatFemme d'Ailleurs 13 by LaMuserieAll the machines are quiet by HORNAH
Late November by Angelina-LGbubbles by rogercruz
Last Guardian by TanzenkatFigurine inspired by Trico from The last Guardian by Akalewia
Furybus and Furitoro by hontorQueen of the monkeys by FenghuaArt
3D -Portraits: Ella by SaQeYeah, That's Right, Keep Walking by robmurdock
Entanglement by PoromaaPure Dreams 06X by GregorKerle
Till Valhalla by Gekroentlimpid by Wilqkuku
Leafy wire wrapped bib necklace by IanirasArtifactsCastiel by Alena-Koshkar
It'll Be Fine (Commission) by Ruffu
Tatiana Warrior-175 by jagged-eyeGilbert Nightray by heriumu-kajiNissa by DarkVenusPersephonae
Moon over Afari by StalinDCzEDRIO TWO TUBES by dopepope
Queen by SunkenRThe Last Guardian: Trico (speedpaint available) by Rucchii
Day 354 of my 2016-a drawing every day resolution. by shonechackoCrane at dawn by ApollinArt
Fan 02 (Precut) by Null-Entity

Guzma by MabyMinNoel by Kimir-RaDarkest Cover by ChrisCold
Cinquieme saison by TrollcreaKVikings. Ragnar Lothbrok by Nastyfoxy
magical forest by kohavivimPeace Run by FionaHsieh
Blue dragon by Manzanedo48h ADOPTABLE AUCTION (OPEN) by KoriArredondo
Fading by Aenea-Jones
The End Of Dancing by Leonid Afremov by LeonidafremovArbolito-navidad-46 by bbvzlaLabrador Portrait. Oil on canvas by painterman33
Tea witch hut by MilanVasekVirtual Plein Air 4 by Andead
That's a green cat by BlueEyes-BlackFurTrico and Treecko by RoyalNoir
Niffler 3 by MelvonAndReineDaily Paint 1490. Deep Season's Greetings by Cryptid-Creations
Hunted by Frayde
Joker and Harley Quinn by Raines-TuKawaii Mario Christmas Tree by PerlerPixieRio at Sunset by IsacGoulart
Let's Rock! by SteveHeggenAquarelleLast Guardian by TacoSauceNinja
Lord of Light - Shiva by jubjubjediSummer House by Diogo-Costa
Trico pixel by ShanolWATERMELON CCCHILD by CyberWolf-Jasper

Winter Scene prt. 2 by 3DLandscapeArtist
My name is... by Kevin-Glint147. Tender by nik159Fishball by gebazzz
Fix by MacRebiszHowling wolf - Christmas giveaway! by LunarFerns
Cliff (Bao Publishing Mascotte) by GigiCavePika snowman by Heartstringcrochet
Free Spirit by GeneRazARTAblaze by Swoopswatkill
Skyrim leather journal... by alexlibris999
Lapis Lazuli by yoshiyakiLink - Breath of the Wild by T-FreeStir clockwise by dinabelenko
A big fish in a little tank... by cloudintrousersSketch a day 342 by skraww
'Glow in the dark Lugia', sterling silver pendant by seraluneHusky catching snowflakes sculpture by SculptedPups
Final Fantasy XV by kuro-maiFor Everlasting Peace! (29th Anniversary Art) by ultimatemaverickx
Brief encounter in Snowdin by RoyalNoir
NuzRea page 23 by SkittyStrawberriesHi! - Artdoll by EscaronTickle Tickle... by PascalCampion
Pikachu December Path - Poke Ball Terrarium by The-Vintage-RealmShatter by lostknightkg
CM - Midnight Waltz by RedPearThe Maiden by Mr-Ripley
Joekulsarlon Sunset by Dave-DerbisDaily Paint 1489. Peppurrmint Cane by Cryptid-Creations
Little assistant to Santa by TatyanaChe


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MAF 30

Journal Entry: Wed Nov 16, 2016, 7:27 AM


Never ending summer - Daily Exercise by mohn-blume
Kris by art0fCKA landscape with an old brewery in backgorund by sanderus
Nadezhda zimy by SILENTJUSTICEKandaze by NeirrCOD - LTL - Chapter Two - PG02 by DrMistyTang
What If It Was Prison Bars by InayatShahA Fallow deer calmly walking by roisabborrar
Freedom! by motherearth01Li'l Dragon by silvanuszed
Saint Seiya - Dohko by diabolumbertoWho calls the Crystal Maiden? by TineMarieRiis
I at a higher level ! by DaykineyPeople at the Sea by tahirlazim
[SPEEDPAINT] washed away, the clouds by jennshikiThe Wolf O Ka Fee by RubisFirenos
S H A D O W by AnstayDanny by Hart-WorxGodrays test by IamUman
Garden Party by offermoordKabegami by ZeldaPeach
Baby it's cold outside by DenisaKc
Kristin by NFGphotoWolvie X Sabie by BryanValenzaGIRL PORTRAIT- by Alexianeee
Tree Crossings by QuackamosBai She-the snake of white by sinammonite
Wooden hairbrush totoro sky by ChibiPyroReverie by ImperfectSoul
Diamonds are forever by ForlornTreasuresWhite And Gold by Thinking-Silence
Pride by ZaraaLeanne
Pond of Serenity by CheshireMoonHimeThe dodging look by ivankorsario
ScARecRoW by DanielGrzeszkiewiczQueen of wands by LosenkoDoggo by iZonbi
 T1A4690web by andy-j-s11152016 02 by GarretAJ
Realistic Wolf Commission by JarahameeAfter Camp - Sunset Shimmer by aJVL
Lost control by CameliaBaican
Fire fox stone painting by AlviaAlcedozSHIN GHIDORAH middle head detail by dopepope
Sketchbook | Rubroboletus Satanas by CinnamonDevilBleeding Universe by TokyoMoonlightAT-nikkuri by Ailythe
... by BaxiaArtWinter Time Again by Bagirushka
Sara by korona-pl.PARANOIA. by CHaTeReStarlight in the Gloom by girltripped
Heat of the night by tomhaider
T Rex by damir-g-martinBrown Bear by linneaphoto
Tisch 5 Bitte! by euGen-foto.Wolf. by CHaTeReDream as Destiny by TacoSauceNinja
Raccoon by SonicPossible00The Wanderer by camilladerricoInvincible Iron Man by Aleksi--Briclot
White Demon by Sephiroth-ArtCold Eyes by Wolfskuss
Lackadaisy: Freckle Custom Plush by Nazegoreng
El Matador ~ With Some Help from Picasso by richardcgreenWishing for... by PascalCampionStudy-face#1 by Kalberoos
Aura Cat Skulls by LimitlessEndeavoursQuiet Dawn by little-spacey
Griffin by NimphradoraDrypoint by pierzynaScarlet Dangerfield Neith   Smite by Brolo
Christmas snow animals by Ailinn-LeinVictoria by art0fCK
Falcon painting by straewefin
One and Only Oxa by Mazakdupa-* by lightdrafter
Blue Tango by Leonid Afremov by LeonidafremovCoral by rossdrawsThe Witcher - Cirilla cosplay by ver1sa
Autumn Spirit mask by Crystumescalling the evil by breath-art
Tree And Modern Architecture by RikitzaChange by Naschi
Magikarp Beanie Plush by SuperKawaiiStudios
Despair by kanovskyWarm up by Abz-J-HardingReflecting Infinity III by borda
Halo of Gold by Abz-J-HardingAt Last by Aenami
Bodysuit by BIOCITY2russian punk-kitty! by khaoskaiKanagawa Wave by C-91
Future City Sketch by ianllanasOver There by TacoSauceNinja
J by ElenaSai
The Empress_2 by GreatQueenLinaThe Oncoming Storm by andycwhiteSamira and Farina by Hart-Worx
golden hours by little-spaceyRainy Evening in Venice by slshimerdla
Chinese Temple by Bogdan-MRKCelsius 13 - Funeral in Little Parthena by Jan-Wes
Scorpio by KL-WireDream
Black cat 2016 mask! by Crystumes
Black and WhiteBullies,
They say kids can be cruel,
That words are the bully's tool,
Words,
Words,
Words that leave scars,
Deep as the space wherein lie the stars,
Driving,
Striving,
Those to the end of surviving,
And now we decry,
Sticks and stones can no longer apply.
 
Words have power,
They say,
They prey,
The words,
The words,
Are enough to dive us to the end,
To send
Their victims to the rope,
Just for an ego stroke,
Slow,
Low,
To keep them under a painful yoke.
 
But the world isn't always so black and white,
Even though we want it easy,
Breezy,
Because the real world makes us queasy,
We don't want to believe that monsters aren't real,
We just want to go with what we feel,
Sure that we know what's true and right,
Fight,
Might,
Who cares about why they fling their quills,
Rather to say it's all for thrills.
 
The truth is worse than any beast,
On the hunt for his salty feast,
The truth is monsters aren't there,
That it's humanity that we all share,
That when some of us are made t
     PsychomachiaIt’s like a trip to the beach.
       Some people enjoy it, but you never were one of them, really. It was too social for you, and you liked the cold instead.
Regardless, you get dragged out by your family to go. You put up a fight, no matter how pointless it is, because it’s unfair and you hate it.
       They take you to the sunny beach town on a “perfect day”, with the sun out and the nice breeze stirring the warm air. Now that you’re out, you see no point in fighting any longer so you go along with it. Your parents take out the towels, lotion, snacks, and swimming gear while your sister looks at the town, wishing to go explore.
       You, being the sore loser you are, decide to go wander off to the sand.
It’s like a trip to the beach.
       You had left your shoes in the care since you knew what was next, anyways. At first, the sand is firm and burns your feet, so y
     Monsters ShineI’m trapped here in the rain, trying to forget
The blood on her face, the nights we met
I can hear the drums, beat like the thunder
Grabbing my heartbeat to pull me under
To where I died aeons ago
The eyes begging, how they shine
Remember her tears from below
And how they shine
A face in the crowd, my sibling now
Bound in the lies we’ve shared
We'll never die, take a bow
Here all unprepared
The darkness releases the veil
And the shadows how they shine
And the skin starts to pale
How she shines
I’m trapped here in the rain, trying to forget
The blood on her face, the nights we met
Where I died, without any regret
Except the what she let
…slip
Our blood is strong, we'll live on lies
On memories, how they shine

little welli wake
every morning, with love in my eyes,
and i look upon my hands and my wrists and the dip of bone in my neck,
and my lips part,
the crack a wishing well
where the waters within swim with loneliness
     HouseI seized the last of winter’s evening light
Dusting earth in dimly somber white,
The poor door of my home so old it spoke
As I stepped out to grasp the fading sight;
And looking upon my house of tired oak
—So full of time that sweeping eyes evoke
The many works of faithful days and hands,
Of carefully carved wooden hearts that broke
With every friend I lost, as grief demands—
Filled with possessions no one understands:
A room by books and letters overrun,
The yellowed heaps where the newspaper stands;
And having neither daughters nor a son,
I then despaired I haven't even one
Who lives to cling to memories, to stay
With me in ageing till my days are done.
Through silent wintry thoughts I fly away
As snowfall on a fading yesterday,
And by a house of ruin and decay,
I weep with all my heartache on display.
     Angel - SnippetTossing and turning, Sara found it impossible to sleep. It was a school night. She had to wake up early tomorrow. How in the world was she supposed to go to school? Sighing, Sara roughed up the covers with her feet, attempting to get comfortable.
She never imagined this was going to happen. Well, perhaps she teased the idea from the start, but things had been going so well! She thought everything was fine. She squeezed her eyes tight, trying to will herself to sleep, but it just wouldn't come.
Turning once again, she laid facing her window. It was then that she heard a noise from behind the blinds. She held her breath in silence, waiting to hear more. A rustling, a few almost inaudible taps. Her eyes swore they saw movement, and it was gone, just as quickly as it had arrived.
Laying in bed, unmoving, Sara waited a few more minutes before taking action. Her heart was racing and eyes were wide. She slowly lifted up the blankets atop her, staying as silent as possible. Her toes gently tea



I'm not well

Sat Oct 22, 2016, 5:17 PM
   
    It's no secret that lately I don't even try to make up for my spotty online activity anymore. I wanted to make this journal for a while now but there was always in the back of my mind that stopped me from doing it. And it stopped me not only from this, but also from enjoying... everything really. I have this feeling that I have a grey filter over my eyes and everything looks and feels the same, no matter what it is. Don't know if that makes sense to you or not.

    I am not happy with where I am, what I'm doing, or really who I am anymore. Still having the feeling I'm not doing what I should with my life. Personal life doesn't make me happy. Going to work doesn't make me happy. Thinking about my (potential) career doesn't make me happy. Doesn't make me sad either to be honest. It makes me feel nothing. My insomnia is back again. I felt the need to smoke again after four years - and I did so for a couple of weeks but now I'm gritting my teeth and try not to because I know just how slippery this slope is. I'm ashamed I gave in, I really am. I crave being ripped away from this reality, being it with alcohol or sleeping pills. I'm finding it harder to resist them day by day. I just can't take the stress of any of it anymore. I absolutely dread the upcoming Holidays. I'm at that point when I'm actually thinking more often about leaving the country and the life I have and start over wherever I end up.

    I might tell you that I'm fine, but I'm really not. There might be moments when I actually believe this, but the months prior to this journal showed me that I have way more bad days and nights than good ones. Tomorrow when I'll be looking at this I might think "What the hell was I thinking when I posted this?!", but two days from now I'll be back to feeling the same as I am right now. And before you say anything, I know how major depression feels like. This is not it, but it might end up being be the build up for a massive one, which is what I've been fearing for almost two and a half years, ever since I've had to deal with the death of the first grandma (and then in chronological order: planning a wedding - the death of the second grandma - finishing University - taking the residency exam - starting work - breaking up with my fiance - whatever it is that's going on now).

    All I can say right now is that this is a new kind of monster with which I've not dealt before. It's almost like I am dead inside and keep going on pure momentum but I'm not sure how long that's going to last (I say "almost" because I still have moments when I make innapropriate jokes). I mean, stuff happened recently that should've made me sad, or scared, but it did neither. To make you understand what I'm talking about I guess I'll have to tell you about it.

    Firstly, last week, one of my uncles died unexpectedly. Really sad situation. But once again, the story with my last grandmother repeats itself - I had no strong feelings towards this. I knew it was sad and that I should be sad, I just didn't feel it. When my mother who obviously had cried just moments prior told me someone passed away my reaction was "Oh. Who was it?" - completely straight faced, completely unsurprised, completely empty. I remember how my stomach sunk when I found out about my first grandmother and there's just no comparison between that and the second grandma or the recent situation. And this makes me think of myself as a shit person. And when I say this I'm not feeling bad, or sad, or even guilty anymore - I'm feeling nothing.

    Then, the second story: when my parents and I were on our way to the funeral, a speeding car coming from the other direction hit our car's mirror in what I can only guess it was an attempt to overtake/see if they can overtake the car in front of it. Said mirror bent and broke, got through the driver's window, completely smashing it in the process, and hit me in the face (I don't remember this last part). I was sitting next to my father, who was driving (funny thing is that day I was actually supposed to drive but had a tummy ache and quit at the last moment. I'm glad that was the case because if it were me behind the wheel I would've crashed the car, given that my initial reaction when I heard a noise which I can only compare to shooting a gun was to cover my face and close my eyes).

    Broken glass came all over me and left two superficial scratches on the left side of my face and ear. Meanwhile the mirror left a deep mark on my glasses. I am thankful I was wearing them otherwise I have a feeling right now I would've looked like a pirate if I didn't (innapropriate joke #1 given the context). I kept thinking a rock broke our windshield (happened once before but I wasn't in the car when it happened) because of how much glass I felt on my face. My reaction after glass stopped raining down on me was to repeatedly, but calmly ask if everyone was ok and I only opened my eyes when they both said yes. It took some good seconds for them to reply because my father was shocked and  too focused to keep driving straight and my mother was too scared to even move.

    I don't remember the car, I don't remember the pain or if it was any (I guess it was though judging by the mark on my glasses), in my mind it's like BOOM, black (because I instantly closed my eyes), glass all over and then something just briefly brushing my face and that is that. Why did I got so into detail with this one? Because I guess I should've been scared for my life and for my parents. I wasn't. I only thought how the hell are we going to drive the ~70 km that we still had ahead of us like that through (almost) night, cold and occasional rain - even before I opened my eyes; nevermind the fact that if my father wasn't an experienced driver we could've all died right there. After this incident I finally found out how it feels like to drive a convertible through shit weather and I decided that even given the opportunity to have one, I'll just stick to classic cars (innapropriate joke #2 given the story that led to it).

    And to top it off, lady cat hasn't doing so well this week either, she got really itchy for no reason - no parasites, no change in food or environment, no contact with other animals or the outdoors. I just hope from the bottom of my heart it's not an autoimmune issue since it's not the first time it happens. She was so itchy that she scratched herself until she got sores all over, especially on her neck and belly. She's doing better on antihistamines but I still don't know how to treat the cause because I don't know what it is and it's hurting me to see she's not well .

    I did not write this journal to alarm you, I just wanted to put it out there to briefly let you know why I'm not so much around here as I used to be and in case there's anyone else going through a tough time - you are not alone. It's been a crap year for me and it seems it's only getting worse, but I'll be fine eventually (do not confuse with "I am fine"), only I don't know when. If I happen to upload more awkward literature in the near future, do not be scared for me - I've always been open and honest with you and I trust you trust me when I say fiction is fiction, even though it may be based on real events and/or emotions.

    And to end this 3AM journal on a high note: last night I dreamed about how a tiny person like me could kill an above average sized guy with my bare hands - pretty simple actually, if that person happens to be laying on their back for various reasons: just put your hands together, make a combined fist and smash the guy's throat as hard as you can. Later, when I woke up, I realized this is a legit way of killing someone, although I have no idea why my mind came up with this shit in its spare time, provided that I didn't watch or had any dubious thoughts about this or any similar subjects (#QualitySleep). Someone who experienced this first or second hand, please tell me if I need an exorcist (innapropriate joke #3 because ??).





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MAF 29

Journal Entry: Sat Sep 24, 2016, 7:02 AM


Solo by MilenaKaliasWhite pebbles by leevolt
Barn owls by DrkavChapter 12 Pages 2-3 by OgawaBurukku
IX- The Hermit by Ioana-MuresanDaisy X by vurdeMWarship Girl 2nd Anniversary by Flaurel
tender heart by anndrTiny Tsubaki in Rose Pink Kimono. Tsumami zaiku. by hanatsukuri
Into the depths of Argarth by AlcoholicHamsterSpring Paladin by kiwilikoVictoria Shepard by Toemiel
The Gwiber by FlyingViperArt
commission: The Fell illustration by MathiaArkonielThe Heart of the Beast by Ameirart
COVER ENDGAME COLORS! by MARCIOABREU7Day 267 of my 2016-a drawing every day resolution by shonechackoCOD - LTL - Chapter One - PG17 by MistyTang
cyber woman.. by elianeckColor shifting Betwixt Antique Pocket Watch by LadyPirotessa
More Black Cat by XeveriacosplayPokemon Vaporeon by WaterRing
Lost Me by yuumeiPink by thefirebomb
Hezekiah by Polis-adoptsSpider! Scream!!! by ForlornTreasures
Centaur redhead by ismaelArtES by bielebnyMetal 4ever by nikongriffin
Yellow bird_4K UHD by relhomThe Perfectionist by ForlornTreasures
Lop Bunny SpeedPaint by GoldenDruidPersonal Work by DarkLestatMaster of the seas - animation by Miafka
Golden by RoyalNoir
Spider! Scream!!! by ForlornTreasures[Commission] When I See You by TheKucing
~shooting break~ by creativephotoworksSpider! Scream!!! by ForlornTreasuresPress Pass by Koviry
Dawn of All-Out War by Jovan-PortoInflow Wash by Glenn-Crouch
Berserk by EnigmasystemRib by Sui-sen
Standing by MD-Arts
Steampunk Cat-Dragon and The King by CatherinetteRingsAngels wing shoulder piece or necklace by Pinkabsinthe
Forest guardian Centaur by Hykhenall in life by anthr0wolf21Lion Doodle Finished! by Noctualis
Honeybones Godzilla 66 SD 3 by Legrandzilla
Shape of you by BaxiaArthi autumn by lisans
Autumn dreams by Floreina-Photography
Soul Fusion by AledaneFThe Autocracy Trilogy cover by LivioRamondelliNatural Connection by batjorge
Sugar Star by fireflytwinkletoesNever easy by Tryingtofly
Nothing is real by Mrs-WhiteRed Pandas by RoseyCheekes
what happened by viki-vakiHalloween Zombie Fox by hontor
Sometimes, all you need is a tree! by PascalCampion
Black and Gold by vishstudioToradora - Taiga Aisaka by SquChanTrackers by ChaosFissure
1025 by azammiiMomentum by Vykoukal
City Rain by Leonid Afremov by LeonidafremovNausicaa by FF69
Please don't wake up by DotteaMichael Fassbender by TanyaMusatenkoMei - Overwatch Fanart by rodg-art
White roses. Ribbon embroidery picture. by TetianaKorobeinykPrincess Jasmine by Rei-Doll
Conquest by Draken413oPilot Armsleeves and Handpaws by TECHNlCOLOUR
Heather Fairy by 6Nereida6In the depth by MissPoeYou'll never break me by shilin
Search and Rescue by EscapingValhallaPit Stop by SorenZer0
Oblivion City by SergeyZabelinHutriel - 01 by Boxume
Coal Forest by MunkellBulbasaur from 'Pokemon', crochet pattern by AradiyaToys
You are the night.Shall I compare thee, ala Shakespeare, to a Summer's Day?
No, my Love. Summer days are filled with bright sunlight and you are not.
You are a beautiful, cool night, full of starshine and moon glow;
sneaking out to run through fields of wheat, secure in the knowledge of our
immortality in the way only youth can be, convinced of our safety.
You are the comfort of a blanket and a stiff drink;
beating back the cold with both a caress and a jolt of awareness,
keeping me blissfully unaware of danger, safe in the knowledge that you'll protect me.
You are the heat born of a once-innocent kiss turned fiery;
warm hands on skin chilled by the night air, delicious friction,
callouses on softness, eliciting a sigh and a shiver, bold in discovery, covered by shadow.
No, you are not the bright light and scorching heat of a Summer day. You are the night.
     PermanentI want to be the tattoo
between your shoulder blades
that you admire in the mirror
Tuesday morning —
when the kitchen smells like cinnamon
and water clings cold to your skin.
I want the seams of your lines to
lynch me to your sinew,
to draw me into your ligaments
until I’m as permanent
as the angel wings on your skin
so we can fly.
     She didn't knowShe didn't know
She was the hardest of them all
Till she met him.

Butcher's NailsThere is a jealousy I feel now--
A writhing worm that reaches inside of me.
Every time you stop and chatter,
about the dregs of your romantic past.
It doesn't matter how often you profess your love to me,
It doesn't matter how many times you say I'm the only one.
What matters to me are these butcher's nails,
driving their aggression into the back of my skull.
I don't want to have to tear these ghosts apart,
but I fear I must for my peace of mind...
So don't worry about all the blood my dear,
I'm sure you know it isn't mine...
     Never Alone Dedicated to my imaginary friend, Monty.
An imaginary friend
Is a friend you keep.
They're the only one
That you can only see.
They can have a fluffy texture,
Or flesh as hard as stone.
But one thing is the same:
You'll never be alone.
Either giddy and mischievous,
Or shy and monotone.
One aspect remains a constant:
You'll never be alone.
Beast of land or sky.
Human or robotic drone.
One thing lasts forever:
You'll never be alone.
     Method Binding“I must congratulate you on getting this far, my dear; you’ve been very impressive.  Not many people could follow those clues to find the lost treasure of the Pharaohs.  But as I told you back in Cairo, the winner takes it all and I always play to win.”
“How dare you!  I beat you to each clue, solved all the puzzles and arrived here at the temple long before you.  All you did was follow my trail so you could steal the prize.”
“Quite right, Eleanor.  Why go to all the trouble you did, not to mention the expense, when you can get someone else to do the legwork for you?”
“You dirty, rotten, piece of …”
“Now, now Eleanor, that’s hardly the behaviour one would expect from a young lady.  Right, hold still.”
“Why? … Wait … hey, what are you doing?”
“Tying you up, what does it look like?
“What?  You’re just going to leave me here?”



MyWeekThroughArt

Sat Sep 24, 2016, 4:57 AM


Pixel Challenges Week 76 Winners

Journal Entry: Sun Aug 28, 2016, 3:03 AM


1st place Ero-Haru :iconero-haru:


Llama banzaaaaaaaaaaiiii!!! by Ero-Haru
[Comm] Haven and Shane - BizarreBloodyPrince by Ero-Haru Felix and Mittens - YCH by Ero-Haru
Watermelon merboy by Ero-Haru [YCH] Swingin VinesClinging for BakaTheIdiot by Ero-Haru Bubble merboys + Caption contest (closed) by Ero-Haru
Mini merman for BakaTheIdiot by Ero-Haru Noragami - forget me not by Ero-Haru



2nd place UszatyArbuz :iconuszatyarbuz:


Sweet 16 by UszatyArbuz
Tiny winter night by UszatyArbuz T-Rex by UszatyArbuz Lyra and Iorek by UszatyArbuz
Castle room background by UszatyArbuz Pole wires by UszatyArbuz Ruby topaz by UszatyArbuz



3rd place Web5teR :iconweb5ter:


Giant dA Love by Web5teR
Alone in the dark by Web5teR Emote Baker by Web5teR Cosmic Night by Web5teR



Congratulations and great job to everyone who participated! :clap:


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MAF 28

Journal Entry: Fri Jul 29, 2016, 8:38 AM


A BEAUTIFUL MORNING by SAMLIMLife Entombed by Emortal982
Baby Growlithe WIP by aphid777Jungle Hunter - Catachan Warhammer 40k Imperium by Carancerth
Guinevere by slaine69the eye by BatscebaWW1 Never Ended by Hazzard65
Sparklers.. by Khomenko-MMCMVII- by MarkusVogt
Harvest of love by fb101My Beauty Of Art by artofdan70
portrait by PutyatinaEkaterina
Stuff by eoghankerriganUntitled by dasTOK
Microcosm by marrgit. : R o s a l i n a : . by Nariscuss
Rocksteady by DarioJartGreat Horned Owl by CorvusHoundOberek by GardenofSpice
Kayle by TheMaestroNoobArtistic by SammiiSinvil
Breath by demasiadomarWaiting for the Night by LosOjosNegros
02-04 by BMacSmithRIN chan by bondsonChiba City port by carloscara
wearing sky by davespertineBulbasaur '' Pokemon Plush Keychain Patron Reward! by GuardianEarthPlush
Game-of-tag by NORIMATSUKeiichiSteller`s Jay by TooMuchColor
Wisteria Dream by gallant11101110Blanche Unicorne by Sieskja
Galinha Tetsuodinha by RodrigoICO
Yana by Direct3DVisualYOUR HORSE HERE | CLOSED by Araxel
FA 412 - A Gnarly Flower by Gerda1946photo_study_02 by chewsomepink monkey by hazumonster
FF 99 by tats2Ballerina by Leonid Afremov by Leonidafremov
swamp by naschamsantSuperman v Doomsday by raulsand
Day 210 of my 2016-a drawing every day resolution. by shonechacko
Lissbon by holdcseppSunset on Sather Tower by Riberry
Mischievous Elf Girl by oscurabellaFacing the Woods by Inky-Shade
Di Necromancer OC redesign by BlackHawk45LCSmoking helps... by RednonRasheeka Redesign Up by Jackiefelixart
pretty in pink by PaleonaHeavy Air Forces by Anritco
Ash V by surabhiguptaphotoart
Beaded doll: Elsa (Frozen) by crafty-maikaMiniature (III). by Phototubby
sherlock bones by Sydsir[+SP] nightmare dressed like a daydream by VanillaDella
Golden Fire by caiusaugustusTime has changed since you walked in the garden by AliceYuric
SLAYER JINX by Jell1PattyNidalee The Bestial Huntress by RinecosViolet.Commission.(+NSFW) by Taiss14
EPIPHANY_III by Wen-JR
Totoro by GenerallyUnamused
058 Growlithe by VaighBrainstorm by stephinni
Elegy For A Lost World VI by EmilStojekFrom the series about sunflowers by Daykiney
Sweet Dreams by Saisonasecret garden by chervona
Steampunk Boho Tall feather collar by Pinkabsinthe
.: -Ori and The Blind Forest - Giving Light- :. by PrideAlchemist7C - wild Meredith appeared by raka-rakaDestroyer Armor by ArtisansdAzure
Crystal Clear by Black-QuosePendant heart by UrsulaJewelry
Lifesize Flutterbat laying plush by RosaMariposaCraftsDust the Assassin - [Digital Journey] by Journeyful
Agate triskele ring by GwilliethSnow White by mior3eFamily Portrait by yigitkoroglu
*** by annieparfiAdult Aang - Avatar The Last Airbender by Elffi
Amored princess by KilartDev
Pokemon X and Y - Protagonist [5] by AmyThunderbolt_Elaine II. by josefinejonssonphotoBliss by EtherealSceneries
Shinzen SD Legendary Godzilla 2014 by LegrandzillaBurning out by kevron2001
Castlerock by andreasrochaI AIN'T AFRAID OF NO GHOST [7/25/16] by Skelefrog
Langolier by hontor
Autumn Walk by ElinTanDead or Alive - Marie Rose Cosplay by TineMarieRiis
Untitled by Placi1Rush - pet portrait by NordevaHermione Granger by CCCrystalClear
Murrfolks by DalfaArtCommission_sleepy on tree by sbel02
Shi Shi Blues by LAlightToriel~ Undertale by RossiniCrezyelHair Up by Haute Couture Estel I by FlexDreams
Destroyer Armor by ArtisansdAzureRaposa by LunaMach
Napping Arcanine by teaselboneThe Quietus by veeegeee
Ramsay Bolton by ertacaltinozChibi Skeletor by DerekLaufmanAlbani the Room Guardian by AnyaBoz
Flowing hair by AuroraWienholdSollies by Arkus83
Arsonist's Lullabye by DieZoriBender by jackdarton
Sensual blue at the green lake by gestiefeltekatze
Up the mountains by m-eralpKangaroo by JBVendamme
Disgusted With Boredom by psychosculptorSOLD - Frankie by emmil
Paine - Cosplay by LadyDaniela89The Dance of Shadows and Rays by XanaduPhotography
Innocent Beauty by Queen-KittyBOUNCE CHIX and DRAGONS #2! Preview 1 by MTJpubContrast of Imagination... by EL-LY
Tip of the Hats 2016 - Promo Poster by uberchain
Sound  and Color by weroniMy kind of morning by Anna-Marine
57 by ShyyBoyyFound you by TheULTImateAngel
A Galaxy Far Away by HalTennyLast day of Corinth revisited by Bernardumaine
WIP: Hermione by DoringotaLivinnsnaud by Julian-Faylona
Spider Queen by slshimerdla
Busy Earnin' by MARX77Merglin- DADT by vikingmyke
Seita by ElliPuukangasAlways Into The East by Orioto
My most recent creation: Cubone! by Tessa4244Une ville by blue-shamrock
Altes Museum Berlin by RoodyNSisters by eoghankerriganMystic Forest by ReaperBunny
Setting Serenity by DrewHopper
Pinhead Hellraiser by AngelaBermudezSamutprakarn back street 3 by TairenarCM 4/6 by SkyGiratina00
Am Fenster by AS-Dimension-ZFrom Enchanted Woods Comes... by psychosculptor
Elysian (+Video) by Katy500Vintage lioness by Lion-Redmich
Tangled by SkylerBrownLearning by pluehunterThis Is the Day When the Tigers Run Free by Tigerty
Colorful heirloom tomato salad by BeKaphotoThe pristine towers by KPEKEPDance by kalinatoneva
Veiled. by Noir-DivisionParis Icons by lostknightkg
Natural Ornamentation by Tea-for-JBASSEarth Terrace free download by EstheryuStevonnie by pessimiist
Recreation Take II by Sabine62BattleFRONT 1 212th Attack Battalion by SK-STUDIOS-DESIGN
Inner Bliss by Arkeoklept
Zelda Hylian Shield Shoes by Bobsmade
Kirby by MagnaStormSugar dress by cATinYt
The Lunar Flame: Ice shields by AnastasiyaVBFor those who lost their way at sea in the storm by Araxel
Saint P Day 2016 005 by Moppet-SmilesEvening the small Bay by hitforsa
CHI by Espherio
ForgivenessThe fear of speaking
The pain of breathing
The disgrace of living
All thoughts from a victim of bullying
Methods of suicide in thought
Knife,gun,Bleach,pills were all brought
People around mourning and self-accusation. Distrought.
All actions and consequences caused by bullying
It was all a joke
I didn't think it would lead to this
Thoughts rushing through the conscious of the bully
We forgive you.
The words that flowed through the wind, and left the bully in awe
     Life is an OceanI won't be the anchor
That stops you in your track.
I don't feel any rancor
For you wanting your life back.
Just whenever your ship fails,
Come to me and I'll help fix your sails.
     <da:thumb id="624494228"/>
The Setting SunThe sun sets
The moon ascends
Where am I?
With my thoughts in my head.
Life continues
As does time
If your life stops
So will mine.
With every breath
A new pain
And with each day
More rain...
...everyday...
Broken-hearted
From the dearly departed
Another hole made
...another heartache
     Mandy's First Encounter    Deep in the jungle, Kaa was resting in his tree, sulking as he watched the animals go about their usual things. How long had it been since the last time he had anything in his coils? Sure hunting was alright, but nothing ever put up a challenge.  Yeah he could entertain himself with the hypnosis, but the animals pretty much all acted the same. None were any fun to put under his spell or do anything with them.
    "Sssssigh, Sssssssuch a boring life I have," mumbled Kaa, "What I wouldn't give for a little exxxcccitement again." His mind wandered to the few instances he was able to enjoy some fun with Mowgli and Shanti. Sure both were meals that got away, but he at least had some fun and enjoyed toying with them. Wonder if any more cubs from the man village would ever come through the jungle again?
    Out of the depths of the jungle, came the rarest sight one could ever hope to see, a young girl with pale sk
     you think you know fear?Silver around neck and arms
Nicely holding that sleeping body in place
No way to move around
As her pale body keeps breathing
At a fast pace
Until …
Roses grow around
When the skin bleaches
To bright white
The eyes pop
Leaving only liquid scarlet tears
That’ll never reach the killer
That decided to change her life
Throwing knifes around
As she was nailed to the floor
Her mouth wide open
In an endless scream
Did you know,
One can die from fear?



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MAF 27

Journal Entry: Wed Jul 27, 2016, 6:00 AM


Plague Doctor by VerismayaWestward Bound by pixielovesyou
Untitled by IrinaJoanneVictoria Falls - Space Poster by FabledCreativeP175 by HBDesign
Honor the SilverHand - Warcraft Human Alliance by CarancerthCirque du Freak by Yonetee
Forest Hunting by KlegsMarsala by katieblooXenial Xerus by SylviaRitter
PSD #32 by tuschenAltar by EtherealSceneries
Gringott's dragon necklace by AngeniaC
consens by CeecoreThere's a Dragon on my Wall by deepgrounduk
Nick Wilde - Typography Poster by SiMonk0Bonnet by NaomameRosa by Zephyri
FOR SALE: Dratini by ZareidyArrival by Nele-Diel
I Wish I Was Special by MartinStranka.someday, maybe. by Azen0ire
King Leoric by Vector67
The Heart of the Beast 6 by EvaniraBalance by Reraizure
Dreaming by Revy-chibiUntitled by nairafeeErika by artmatrix
Flight of the White Raven by charmedyAquaman by DazTibbles
Sara Pezzini/ Witchblade by GwendlgFlowerWitch by NachiSato97THE NYMPH OF THE SWING by jairolago
Frozen Keep - Patreon IP08 by andreasrocha
Life Song WAB1814 by WayneBenedetDango shop - Speedpaint by PuniSama
Plate of Jack o Melons by loveandasandwichCM: NekoNay by xMits+redemptio+ by Miyalin
London Bridge Commuters by deepgroundukFace to face by ThierryCravatte
Summer night by Angelina-LG-- Om Nom Nom -- by AshleyxBrooke
Underbrush by rajewel
:a la Vivian Maier project: by RapidHeartMovementirina by emptyredhead
Remnant of Despair: Mikan Tsumiki by cha4osMimikyu Pokemon Flat Sale Plush (On Sale-Etsy) by Rainbow-Rocket
Senri by GreyRadianKat in the Water by goodeggproductionsCodename Sailor V by Abbadon82
Ashley Green - 1 by RocketQueenImagingCloudy Night Sky by Hepoth
Dumah, Angel of Dreams by PeteMohrbacherFear me by STelari
Spark by Hiba-tanIpnotic by Laysa
Orange Cat goes into the woods to get beat up by beffalumpsDratini Needlefelt by DreyaCira
Sis' Drawer by lilythegreat00Space owl by MarinaMichkinaToo Late, All Gone by ThePaperTiger
Riders by NarandelLife Size Rowlet/Mokuroh Plush by Burzurk
TTK 2016 - Beautiful Korea by WarrenLouwSuperman Colors by Gotetho
Raphael (TMNT) by NOPEYSInnocence by Red-Priest-Usada[Contest] Ember by GoroKyun
stormsurge by Reza-ilyasaDreamland by S-Patriot
Pokemon Black and White - Touko [7] by AmyThunderboltRosebuds by miikanism
Dragon Sign (VIDEO) by rykySunrise in Kivilampi II by m-eralp
Into the blue jellyfish pendant by carmendee*** by Tarasov
Spirit Walkers by Screwed-Conspiracymeadow mallow by kosharik69Winter Pass by Spiceroll
Weaponized by Moonlight109Pink Oobleck by StarwaltDesign
Into The Milk And Honey Land by gyurkaMaleficent by FlexDreamsMy Field Of Art by artofdan70
Wild Mocha by LyraWhiteFly Like A Bird by artofdan70
Red Feelings by Leonid Afremov by Leonidafremov
Theurgy by ZeenChinDrage med roser by SunimaFirebird by Reluin
H O P E  I N  T H E  A I R by koraykaragozlerDniester Canyon, Ukraine by Sergey-Ryzhkov
Phoenix by caiusaugustusUntitled by IrinaJoanne
Siberian Khatru by TacoSauceNinjaOf Nightmares and Dreams by IskaeldtRetro Jo by LiveForTheFunk
Red Bow by Ariane-Saint-Amour
Sunset In Arches by kkart... by SnezhanaMorozova
Fly in the Summer Sun. by OliviaMichalskiUntitled by tuminka
The Bow by NaviiraMONAQUATRE by stengchen
Pearl Blush chiffon babydoll dress by amadizDeep Meditation by yigitkorogluMoth to the Flame by Chrysisi
Blazing Mammatus by FlorentCourty
Don't stay alone in the forest by NUMYUMYTube Rider by Vitaly-Sokol
Pokemon X and Y - Protagonist [4] by AmyThunderboltPost Apocalyptic Samurai by Mac-tireWhen the Ice Melts III by MeganCoffey
Leather Feather Bunch by windfalcongolden summer by vularia
018 - Pidgeot by TsaoShinBlack Dunes by Hengki24
Up and Up by NanoMortis
MadhouseWelcome to the madhouse.
You live in your perfect little world,
but deep down you wish you could escape.
Come find me at the bottom of the sea,
in a dark corner of a velvet melody.
We won't be sacrificed
for society's delight.
We'll rise time and time again.
We'll stand tall and proud like
hauntingly beautiful ruins.
Unique. Mysterious. Enigmatic.
Like diamonds, we're built to last,
to shine bright in the shadows and light.
After so long my eyes are finally dry and new.
I choose myself and stars roared in triumph,
put yourself first in this madhouse we call life
and you'll see that one day,
maybe even tonight, you'll be alright.
     ways you are lovedi.
like being held,
but not as
a hand nor
breath;
hands shy away
and breaths exit
the chest.
constant, like
god's palm
or breathing,
continuous
and absolute.
like truth.
ii.
like staying warm,
but not like noon
or flame;
noon wanes
and flickers in the evening
meet death.
constant, like
rotations in space
or stars in the eyes
of humans.
like blessed.
iii.
like kept,
but not contained
nor restrained
nor forced to be one way,
not asked to change nor pressured
to step where the path
is lit.
like your personness is quite
the gift and your smile
lifts up the heavens, and when
you exist we are all of us
content.
like you matter
and your mass
is a perfect fit
for this earth.
like love
is a continent
made for you.
like you deserve.
     tick tockthis bitter taste in my mouth—
it's a dying fire,
and the ashes are lingering on my tongue.
i wake up each morning with shadows beneath my eyes.
dark bruises that hide everything with a flourish
yet reveal all to anyone who looks close enough.
the girl in the mirror is my enemy;
her smile isn't all there and
it is painted like a doll's, but not nearly
as beautiful and enchanting.
sometimes,
i get the feeling that if i clench my fists tight enough,
time will stop.
but i know the gears of the clock that is wedged painfully
inside of my rib cage will continue to grind slowly and
sluggishly, because while i am not as broken as i once was i am
(and i never will be) forever whole again.

lotus-eater.i. bonsai
branches overrun beyond their shapes, we
tangle ivy and run. topiary without the sense,
bonsai without the clippings, we make jungles
out of our sentences and run on in endless
roots. I wish the soil would go on forever
but oceans roar on the fringes of our forest
daydreaming. drown me in ferns, and let
me rot in the dark mulch of your palms.
ii. mandala
we loved liked painting a mandala of our affections
stretching kisses in sweeping arcs, the nights
pillow-dreaming of forever in intricate knots
and we laid ourselves out on wet sand
waiting for fickle tides to sweep us clean and
wash away our sins.
my only sin was that I loved too much, said too
little, and wanted more than I deserved in the
eyes of a foreign god
iii. lotus
swallowing the lotus seeds of your veiled confessions
love sprouted above the turbid waters of my cynicism
my doubt, see these flowers in my eyes, see these open
lily pad palms, you planted this and yet you stand with
shears ready to take cuttings of my a
     Inner EmpireLet me fall apart, stop holding me above the stars.
I want to feel the ground beneath my feet when I break down.
To burn with the motions of wild, flickering oceans.
I want to be pure again, to be released from this story's end.
There are sinners like me, you're a sinner like me, but..
But, I need a safe haven, a winning card to live again in the dark.
Watching waterfalls and drowning ships to build an empire from within.
I will rule and you won't be there because I'll have someone else who won't walk away.
     and my past could kill us both.you loved me,
i know;
i'm sorry,
it's a curse,
you weren't the only one,
but it's rare;
i'm worthless,
useless,
a sad, broken poet
with rain soaked dreams,
and no lights
in my eyes;
my voice is flat,
lost,
distance,
i can't feel much
anymore
and the shadows beneath my eyes
are growing
with each tremor
of my hands.
you wanted me,
i know,
you weren't the only one
i've ever disappointed;
you won't be the last,
i promise
you're so better off
without me,
without ever having me,
i'd hurt you
with my love,
it's thorns,
chemicals and toxins;
it'd ruin your heart
trying to hold the force,
the weight
of my overbearing love,
it'd hurt you
like my cigarettes
hurt our lungs.
i was an alcoholic
by seventeen,
and maybe before,
probably before,
but i wasn't paying attention;
i lost count
of all the ways
i was ruining my life;
you didn't see that,
or maybe you did,
but you loved me
regardless,
somehow...
i'll never know.
i'm sorry,
i'm sorry you thought i was something,
someone worth your heart,
i w



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MAF 26

Journal Entry: Sat Jul 23, 2016, 8:44 AM


THE WILD HUNT by SharkeyTrike
Coffee owl.. by Sillykoshkaplayboy by russell910
Velma Kelly cosplay by ThelemaTherionWitchy Art Challenge D10 PLANT WITCH by Mashiiro
-MMCCCVII- by MarkusVogtPaper and wood Great Tit  sculpture, back view by ZackMclaughlin
Sky Drifter by 3hilDive into the sunset by frestro79
Buffy the Vampire Slayer cover S10 TPB6 by StevenJamesMorrisPinups - A Mouse! by warbirdphotographer
UF2016-455 by Xantipa2The Dreamcatcher by SerenityWireDesigns
Pyscho Teddy vs Beast Battler by Tigerhawk01Tower by orange-magik
Isle Delfino by 2dforeverUntitled by SootheNoo1959Sneak peek #23 by WildEllie
That's my pet! by NezartIt snows in May but I dont mind as you stay here by Araxel
Crocodile by AmBr0
DOOM by shrimpy99Join me, no ? by demon1582Brave by Kiriska
Sassy Asuka II by MeganCoffeyRudi Kronsteiner by Nightmare-v
Daily Sketches Tempus by feddeShiro by Kaiapi
it came out of nothing... by clochartist-photoRazz-a-ma-Tazz by FlapperFoxy
just a moment by emptyredhead
In The Hallway by ciaranwhyteClosing Time by ArferiaKitten-chu by Kajenna
Kitten by LaazeriSunset lake by fb101
Buff the Vampire Slayer S11 issue 1 by StevenJamesMorrisFriedrichstrasse - Berlin Mitte by RoodyNalmost there by derekjones
Commission: Family quarrel by MilicaClkD.Va cosplay by Julia-MiFei
I watch... by PhotoDragonBird
Creature by SammiiSinvilCOD - LTL - Chapter One - PG08 by MistyTangThe clouds never go away by MarjorieChamillard
Zebra finch cell phone plug by emmilArtistic Fashion by SammiiSinvil
.... by SnezhanaMorozovaBeauty shower by janedjRose of May - NSFW Available by iKiska
follow my decoden account!! by spodurBrush-A-Plush Miss Coco Pommel plushie by Zooher-Punkcloud
splash by vularia
Heretic by TacoSauceNinjaGringott's dragon pendant by AngeniaC
:: blessings and glory by hawberriesjapan expo 2016 my photograhpy by SeedDestinyLovely from any angle! by AndrewMannPhoto
Lyssic by aitsenaThe Lonely Tree by pitnerd
Deep. by OliviaMichalskiCustom: Star Trek NG+OS Bead Dress (Minus Badge) by pinkythepink
Red Tree by makushiro
Elektra By David Lima by winchester01failed by HoldSpaceShiftMystic Night by ChaosFissure
Kael-The Swift Striker by CGlasRose by valentina-86Vimana mythological spaceship - Tutorial by stanuch-przemyslaw
Miss Loo in New Apartment by MarthaTumaEpistellar Horizon by elreviae
Spirit of Winter by hibbaryMarie 3 by recipeforhaight
What's for breakfast? by dinabelenko
Wow!! by iydPeaceful Old Trees by Lilyas
Morning Dew by noebelle
Buried Seashells II by girltrippedArcher by NewMilkyInto Madness by norbface
painful beauty by MartinAmmTyrannosaurus Rex by Herschel-Hoffmeyer
Fairytale Horse by carinamaiwald
warlord by KilartDevEriador by Dave-Derbis
Fate/Extra - Saber Bride by vaxzoneJon Snow by avvartSurvie-Gold by Mr-Xerty
Winter - Sketch by JJcanvasFelted Togedemaru by xxNostalgic
Cosmic grace by Kimir-RaBlanc Render by JessymoonnCyber Candy - Rocket boots training - illustration by MoonlightOrange
Colours of summer by dinabelenkoWhite Woods by ullakko
Promises of Light by John-PeterWanna Whole Lotta Love by kazarinakristina
DeadPool and Mistress Death Cosplay by elenasamkoProphet by awanqi
Gamora and Rocket Raccoon by HitotsumamiWhite as snow by luka567Dare and Pawn. Commission. by Taiss14
Dragon #44 - Buzhandmade by buzhandmadeSpace Marine Centurion by Reza-ilyasa
Captain America : Civil War - Zemo v Black Panther by maciejkuciara
Reaching For The Stars by Joe-MaccerStory Concepts by Tengu-ArtsRuins in the valley by elbardo
Warrior Within by EL-LYSummer Leaves by jankolas
Photo Study #6 by FilipJKDQuietism by Mars-Hill
Sailor Moon - Princess Serenity by MilliganVickGolden Gate at Sunset II by jxsnyder
music life by maxmail25196
ConfusionWhistfull white and wonderous sights,
Colors bleeding, shifting, swirling,
Burning, yearning, churning in the night.
Sprinkles of melancholy seep through,
Tainting the joy that was once there.
Breathing deeply, waiting to exhale,
Twirling, whirling, dizzying life,
Faltering, stumbling, falling, feeling impaled.
Drops of sadness filter through,
Depressing the joy that was once there.
______________
A gentle woeful sleep,
Started as a dove,
Turned to a raven.
A happy tender moment,
Started as a breeze,
Turned to a hurricane.
Joy
Started as bliss,
Turned to depression.
     numb    leaving my life
you left me nothing
except barely alive
     dancing through the nightWhen stars lit the sky
And the moon shines bright
I’ll dance in my garden
All alone
I don’t need anyone but my mind
To reassure me
And make me rest,
Sleep tight
The dance? A slow
Nothing more nothing less
Just dancing there on my own
Until my sleep takes over
And I drift away through the clouds
High above that place
I’ll be able to sleep peacefully for once

     A fighting damselYou have got to be kidding me...
Marian sighed. Yet another knight was dragged inside the goblins' cave, screaming and cursing. It had been a week since a small party of goblins kidnapped her from her chambers in the King's castle. One week of sitting in a cage, above a pit of fire. She ripped yet another piece of her dress, which was almost completely gone, and wiped the sweat of her forehead. Over the time she spent as a captive, her nightgown had to serve as a handkerchief more than as clothing, with it being reduced to something along the lines of a skirt. It was terribly hot in the tiny cage the goblins had placed her in, and the small amount of water they gave her every couple of hours didn't make her situation any better.
"Don't worry my lady, I shall free you!"
Yeah right, just like the other half a dozen have.
Slowly turning her head, Marian looked in the direction where the goblins were taking their latest prisoner. A large wooden cage was built on the other sid
     VerseWe won't be written into history
We'll be unmarked upon the map
But somewhere in prose and poetry
I loved you once in a paragraph



Thank you - feature

Journal Entry: Tue Jul 19, 2016, 11:05 AM


Sunset Soul by ThatOneGoldfish
Weapons Pack #4 SMGs by Zee-WhoMoon Jellies by deideiblueeyez
PS: The Stars (Masquerade Costume Meme - Rory) by PizzaPotatoNBaconDusk - Mind lines only by TSnickersPrincess of Lorule by maeanalda
Abriel Lafiel Vector by dragonthing009Red Tree Man by Malintra-Shadowmoon
Such Trolling by Erladino
Originals by GeorgeXVIIHangover painting by phydeauGalaxy eyes by XxTheTrueNuxesXx
|Broken Hope| by SailorOshyKariosa (Contest entry) by L-L-arts
Geheichou portrait - speed paint by Ero-HaruMystic Shadow Ref by SoarinDash889
4451 by pulbern
Candy by aya-saraKiki-chan! by Uri-peZentangle Humming Bird by Dragonshadow3
Long Flight Home by MouselemurKirito and Asuna SAO by SheepiAnna
Love Memories by Egil21They didnt need words by farmgirl2012Ice bear by StarryPines368
4give to 4get by Ellynovia
I Love You To The Moon And Back by TheGalleryOfEveSinging 'Now we are coming home!' by Pretty-L1ttle-Psycho
Butterfly Enigma (1) - Chapter 1CHAPTER ONE | NEW
"I'm not going."
Kallima folded her arms over her slight chest defiantly as her father, Havard, folded her life into the boxes around her. The teenage girl's lip quivered as, one by one, posters, photos, and books vanished into the cardboard caverns.
"I wouldn't send you if I had another choice, Kali," the older man replied.
Kallima turned away and drew her feet up onto her bed, pulling her knees close to her chin. Kallima's short red hair fell in front of her sad eyes as she dipped into her knees to hide her face. She had tried, she insisted to herself. Everyone seemed to think moving on was so easy. Havard continued packing, oblivious. He was always oblivious, Kallima thought.
Kallima's mother, though, had been attentive and caring towards the girl, when she was sober. While Kallima detested her mother's life choices, she loved her. How could she not love the woman who looked so much like her?
While Kallima recently butchered her hair with a pair of sewing sc
     the power of weharsh, shrill voices
hatred stated
echoes of past
failures inflated
like missiles
misguided
hearts and souls
divided
violent acts
angry reactions
speak to
desperate factions
we look at each other
struggle for an answer
like watching a loved one
battle cancer
there is more to us
than meets the eye
what if together
became you and I
such a different planet
it surely would be
if we awoke one morning
to the power of we...
     Snapped- Beast BoyBeast Boy was a good kid, but he’d grown up knowing otherwise.
When his parents died in that boating accident, it had been his fault. He didn’t maliciously sink the boat. He didn’t laugh when they were dragged under by the roaring water. But if he’d been better; if he’d been able to turn into things larger than himself... if he was what he should have been, they would still be alive.
Mento had never said that exactly, but he’d definitely thought it. It was one of Mento’s favorite things to imply to 'encourage' Beast Boy to work harder.
He’d suffered through the mental abuse of the Doom Patrol’s leader for years.
Even after he’d achieved the thing Mento had been pushing him towards since he’d joined the Doom Patrol, all the older man had was critiques.
That was when he had realized he was better than that- than them.
So he’d set out to go solo, only to run into one of his idols: Robin.
They’d formed a team.
Ro

Me in gifSo Lintu47 tagged me long ago and finally I've done this :dummy:
Rules: 
a) Any number of facts is acceptable.
b) Every fact you post about yourself must be accompanied by an appropriate gif. 
c) Tag how many people you want.
I'm pretty shy.
This year, I have my final exams.
I'm pretty addicted to calligraphy lately.
I hate when people pretend they're the smartest.
Oh, and yes, I'm a fan of Lana Del Rey.
I hate bugs and the way they break in my personal space.
I love cute stuff. Well, okay, I know most do, but I just wanted to share this cute gif :-)

Well, okay, can I stop with 7 facts? Maybe I'll edit it later with something more interesting when I come across a gif which is "ah so about me".
I tag anyone who wants to do this basically, although I would like to suggest (only to suggest) it to SAVALISTE and Sukilucky :-)
Also, on the occasion that you're already here, check out My Daily Devi
     The ExperienceDo you count the roaming stars,
    or light a fire place?
Say that sleep has eluded you
or countless shapes have formed
     beneath the eyelids of contempt.
Your world is darkened for
    moments. What is new to you
is old for others. Sharp wings of
soft tissue, hard electric
     run along the spine of cowards.
It is a hairy time for
    flowing water, needy so-
-il. Say your rump is shelly
crusted over by dirt. Filth
    and grime layered by your many sins.
     Grimoire Game Show! Round 1: Deliciously Sweet Entertainment
    Kyo looked around with his gold eyes. All he saw was darkness. He tried to stand up and move freely, but he was chained in place unable to walk around! “Ikki! The brunette shouted. He was getting worried and nervous where his husband was off. Then a stage light shined on Kyo. It surprised him and he got a little nervous to see Ikki grandpa stand before him. “Grandpa Grimoire!” Kyo exclaimed, “Where am I? Where’s Ikki?” Grimoire gave a snicker. “My dear boy, the answer to both question is……” Curtains were opening, lights were turning on, and even cameras were rolling! Kyo eyes widened to see a huge crowd of people going wild. “SAVE MY HUSBAND,” Grimoire said out loud. Grimoire was wearing a black suit and pants, even including his cape. And to top it off he wore red lens shades and red bow tie to make the look more whole. Kyo gave a puzzling yet




Thank you for taking part in the 20 truths, 5 lies challenge :hug:


20 truths, 5 lies game results

Sat Jul 16, 2016, 6:56 AM
As i already said in the original journal, in the event that no one guesses all the 5 lies, there will be 5 winners selected via random.org; therefore instead of presenting you the big winner, i will show you the five ones that were lucky. And guess what? As per usual, no one guessed correctly :iconkiddingmeplz: Also, given how horribly unpopular this was until GeorgeXVII and Ero-Haru spread the word about it (10 participants in 3 weeks), I think I'll end this challenge series here. Here are the false facts:

4 8 16 19 23


The winners of the raffle are: SoarinDash889 TheGalleryOfEve SheepiAnna Bm0321 aya-sara
Proof of the drawing here: Random.org by Lintu47. Each won 20 points :points: Congrats and thanks to everyone for taking part in this game!

Explanations


  1.  Every now and then I get weird crushes on people and all I want to do is feed and pet them, just like cats!
    True: Don't judge, okay? It's happened twice in the past year and it's more like "Aww I wish he was my kid so I could take proper care of him" rather than "Look how hot he is, I want him now!". Did I just kid-zoned those guys? Did this term even exist before or did I just start a whole new zoning level? :rofl:
                     
  2.  I love fluffy stuff.
    True: Just like my cat! Recently I fell in love with a (fake) fur blanket which was so fluffy that if I had it I swear I wouldn't get out of bed anymore. Never. But it was around $200 so I guess I'll just keep dreaming about it. Screw you, Zara Home, you are way too expensive!

  3.  I want to get a tattoo.
    True: I do, I want a small one on the rib cage. Still didn't decide what will it be though since that personal journal I talked about it.

  4.  I just bought a new laptop.
    False: No, I have other plans with my money for the moment, but I sure need a new one. This piece of junk I have now freezes over 10 times per day, every day, so you can imagine how frustrating it is to try and do anything on it. It froze 9 times up until this very moment that I'm writing this sentence and who knows how many times it will afterwards.

  5.  I recently discovered the hardships of choosing drapes and curtains.
    True: There is little joy in the process of moving into a new place. Sure, you imagine it'll be lovely to choose this and that, and place that thing over there and so on, but it's really just fantasy. When you are faced with so many choices and possibilities, decisions must be based on thorough research which takes up a lot of time and it's actually very stressful.

  6.  My true and only addiction is the dreaded lip balm.
    True: I started using it many years ago during winter time because my lips were very dry and split but when spring came and I stopped using the balm, my lips became a mess in just a matter of hours! And now, after who knows how many years (I really can't remember how long it's been, prolly around 8-10 years), it's still the same. I simply can't stop using it without getting very dry and split lips. If anyone knows a way out of this, please help!

  7.  I currently have my TV connected to my laptop and a YouTube video is running in the background.
    True: As long as my laptop is on, there's always something from YouTube running in the background. It is known! (thumbs up for whoever gets that reference)

  8.  It's three days left until I will have a second cat.
    False: No, I said I'm considering this for when I will live in my new place and since that didn't happen yet because of the AC issue I talked about in my last personal journal, it means there's no baby cat on the way either. But I get to cuddle with little Spartacus (which my friend actually named Decebal :stare:) every weekend, which is pretty great! :love:

  9.  I really want to get contact lenses instead of glasses.
    True: Yes, they would be really handy at times, especially when driving, but I wouldn't wear them all the time. At home I would prefer my glasses, but at work and on  social occasions I really think contacts would be better. I wouldn't have to worry all the time about not dropping/losing/leaving fingerprints on them.

  10.  I contemplate on starting a YouTube channel.
    True: Get over the fact that I have no equipment, skills or knowledge, I want a YouTube channel! :eager: I refer to it as my mid-twenties crisis (which hasn't gone away since my last journal).

  11.  I went to a community pool many years ago and I got sick.
    True: If you remember, I talked about how I don't like community pools because of how many diseases you can get from them in one of the last challenges. Well, it all started when I was a kid and I got sick for two weeks after going to one of these damned things! And my friend was as sick as I was, so it wasn't a coincidence.

  12.  I don't know how to use Tumblr.
    True: Sharing stuff from dA on Tumblr doesn't count. It doesn't help that I don't ever use it either. It's the same with Twitter :(

  13.  I had a haircut and now my hair isn't Ombre anymore, just its natural black.
    True: I'm in that bob haircut phase again, although I initially went for a longer pixie cut, but the hairstylist said she wouldn't do the haircut that I wanted. It was something like this: "I want this one" *I show a beautiful, detailed picture on my phone which took ages to find* - "No, I don't do that. I will do a bob instead" - "... Okay :iconokayguyplz:". It really took me by surprise and I didn't protest. It's a good thing the bob looks good on me otherwise I would've gotten up and left without paying.

  14.  I once draw a picture of my University experience for a journal and it looked terrible.
    True: It was for Updates on personal life #6. Although it looks horrendous, it is a true depiction of what Med School was for me and it's a reminder of why I'm not posting drawings on dA :laughing:

  15.  I would really love to have pink hair.
    True: But I can't because I'm supposed to look like a respectable and serious cliché person. Although I could maybe get away with it, saying it's to seem friendlier to the kiddies? :giggle:

  16.  My Skype id is lintu47.
    False: As I said in my FAQ, there is a lintu47 on Skype but that's not me. I don't know if someone's trying to impersonate me or if they had that username long before I even made this account on dA and it's just pure coincidence, but I can assure you that when I created my Skype account that username was already taken.

  17.  My little cousin and my father share the same birthday.
    True: Many years apart to be fair, but it's true! Also, I said little because she is the youngest of my cousins, but she is in fact starting college this fall. I remember when she was 3 years old and would grab my foot and won't let go. I had to walk around like that for years until I finally couldn't move anymore. I was just 7 years older so I definitely was no Wonder Woman, although  she seemed to think otherwise at the time. Now, as 90% of the females I know, she is bigger and taller than me :)

  18.  I sometimes miss being a student.
    True: You can't just wake up and decide not to go to work today because you're feeling lazy or it's storming outside and get away with it. Sure, I dreaded the exams, but otherwise, looking back, I had no real worries while in school. Now I'm stressed always all the time. Adult life sucks, but I keep telling myself that at least now I'm getting *some* money for doing stuff. 

  19.  I went to East European Comic Con this year.
    False: I truly wanted to but I didn't find anyone to go with. So maybe next year if my friends decide to stop sucking when it comes to Comic Con?

  20.  I work in a hospital.
    True: In a big one too! The biggest of its profile in the country and I'm really proud of it.

  21.  I eat lots of fruits in the summer.
    True: Cantaloupes, cherries, sour cherries, peaches, plums... There's days when I eat only fruits. But then again, there's days during the year when I eat just pizza, and that's not a fruit as far as I know  so I guess it's not that great as I make it sound. Best example: yesterday I ate only raspberries, today I ate only pizza. I don't have a balanced diet :(

  22.  I almost drowned right next to my father when I was a kid.
    True: I talked about it in About drowning journal. If you want more details on this you can just click the link and read the whole story.

  23.  I own a red car.
    False: There's two things wrong with that statement: the car I (occasionally) drive is white and it's also not legally owned by me. Actually, I don't have anything big or important on my name, mainly because up until a few months ago I couldn't afford buying anything. Don't get me wrong, I still can't afford to buy anything too important (like a car), but I think I own a fridge though? I'm not too sure, I bought a lot of stuff recently for the new place but whenever I can, I prefer to buy stuff with warranty on my father's name because I'm not too keen on getting it fixed when it breaks. I never said I want to be a fully responsible adult :giggle:

  24.  I would love to have a Game of Thrones themed mug.
    True: Not just a mug, but all sorts of merch! Board games, card games, hoodies, you name it. Kit Harrington, if he was for sale, too! Don't mind me, I'm just too deep into this amazing universe. GRRM, will you be my grandfather, please? :heart:

  25. I am attending a wedding in another country next year.
    True: Yay :| I'm not big on attending weddings and considering I'll have to go without a partner to another country (for the first time!) is a bit too much, but maybe it will turn out to be great for me. So, I'm half scared, half excited about it, but bring it on! :iconchallengeacceptedplz:


Mya: from happiness to sadness, to happiness again

Journal Entry: Sat Jul 9, 2016, 7:02 AM


   
    Some of you might have seen on my Instagram a picture of a British Shorthair with a shaved and operated belly that had a tiny kitten firmly attached to her breast :) If you're interested in finding out what happened and how important it is to take care of your pets, please read. Emotional story ahead.

    This is the picture I'm talking about:


13561747 1112372608821287 1683571014 N by Lintu47     Mya and her tiny 4 days old fighter


   
    You might already know Mya from my pictures I posted here and on Instagram as well. This is her when she was 10 weeks old (she's not mine, by the way!):


Mya by Lintu47
Schizomeowid by Lintu47


   
    She's now 1 year and 11 months old and she's a big kitty. At the beginning of May her owner (and my best friend) found her a Romeo so she can have kittens once before she got spayed. All nice and well until the 1st of July when I visited her place right before we were going to leave for a common friend's birthday party. Mya looked like a melon with legs! I was positive she was going to give birth that weekend or at the most, this week, but I didn't think for a second it all can go so wrong in such a short amount of time.

    At about 6PM, just a few hours before the party, she lost the mucus plug. I looked at my friend and told her "Congrats, you're going to be a cat-grandma tonight!". We were all so excited. We prepared a cozy and big box for her and watched over her as she grew more and more restless. Around 7PM her membranes ruptured and soon she started having irregular contractions. All was going smoothly, but the time came when we had to go - around 10PM, and Mya was breathing very fast and shallow and there was still no sign of a kitten. Being her first pregnancy and me having some experience assisting birthing cats before, I decided to stay behind and watch over her rather than go to the party with my friends. Why me? Because my friend is very panicky, with no experience and her boyfriend didn't have a clue on what to do either. I felt bad I didn't go, but looking back I know I made the right call.
   
    Time went by in slow motion. It was hard seeing her struggle, but I was positive it was going to be ok. Many cats have longer labors the first time so I wasn't too worried about it, but it got to 2AM and nothing happened yet! After this much time, she was still having contractions, still pushing from time to time, but that was about it. She was exhausted and restless at the same time and she was breathing like a dog, with her tongue out. I knew she was greatly stressed and scared and I comforted her as best I could. I didn't hug her or anything like that, because it stresses them out more, but I spoke calmly and softly to her and occasionally lightly pet her on her head. It was on moments like these when she looked up at me and meowed like she was saying "Please help! I can't do it anymore! Get them out!".

    At 2:14AM she started circling in the box and pushing regularly and at 2:19AM she had her first kitten, after 8 hours of labor. I was so relieved and happy for her but that didn't last long because the kitten was not very active and Mya was not showing great interest in taking care of her either, but being her first time I was convinced it was because a lack of experience and once the labor will end and she'll have some rest, everything will be fine. I continued watching over them and repeatedly tried to make the kitten latch and feed herself (as it is extremely important for this to happen in the first minutes or at least hours after birth) but I couldn't manage it and slowly the kitten grew more and more lethargic. By the time I went to bed (after falling asleep a few times on the hallway next to their box), around 5:30AM, when my friend got back home, I was convinced the little one would not make it, but there was nothing more I could do. It's extremely hard for the vets to work wonders with such young animals as well, especially if the mom isn't a role model either. She was still having irregular contractions and I knew there were more in her belly because I could see and feel them move, and she still looked pretty much like a melon. I went to bed and left my friend's boyfriend to watch over them.


20160702 022419 by Lintu47
The firstborn kitten, a few minutes old


   
    I got up 2 hours later because I was so worried that I couldn't sleep anymore. The first thing I did was to check up on her, and with great sadness, I found the little one cold and still next to her and no other kittens around. I expected the kitten wouldn't make it, but that didn't make it any less heart wrenching. After making sure she's really gone, I wrapped her up and took her away so my friend wouldn't see her like that. I immediately contacted via Whatsapp my ex future-brother-in-law, who is a great vet, and anxiously waited for his instructions. Half an hour later, after he confirmed that Mya needs an ultrasound asap and possibly a C-section, I got my friend up and rushed to the vet together. She was very tired and didn't grasp at first what it really meant and how high the stakes were. If you didn't know, in the eventuality that the cat doesn't give birth to another kitten in the next 4 hours after the last one, you should take her to the vet asap.

    Mya didn't have contractions anymore and I couldn't feel the kittens moving. I was sad and scared as if she was my own. We both sat next to her and calmed her down at the vet who confirmed she had more inside and saw at least one cardiac activity. I also saw one that didn't have a heartbeat anymore but I kept it to myself - I didn't want to worry my friend more, who, by this time, wasn't half asleep anymore and realized how bad it was and was close to crying. We both stood close to Mya while the tranquilizer took effect, but she went out when the vet set up Mya's IV line because she couldn't watch it. I perfectly understood her because I remembered how sick I felt when I had to watch my lady cat go through preparations before her interventions (I even passed out on two different occasions, but that's a story for another time, if you'd like to know more about it perhaps I could write it down sometime in the future).

    A few minutes afterwards, Mya was taken into a separate room and the vet told us to come back in 2 hours. He explained what was going to happen and what the worst outcome might be and sent us home because there was no point in us waiting there. We went back to my place, which was closer to the vet, and my friend went back to sleep so she could properly function later in the day. I wasn't feeling sleepy or tired, although I had as much sleep as she had, but I think that was because I was extremely worried. By that point I knew at least one kitten is gone and who knew if the others will make it. You can say I'm sometimes cold and short tempered with people and I wouldn't argue with you on that, but when it comes to animals I have so much patience and dedication that sometimes even I am surprised by it.

    Two hours later we were back there: Mya was recovering after her anesthesia, but was fine otherwise, one kitten was gone (the one I saw on the ultrasound), one was under CPR for about 30 minutes or more and two were still alive - one was breathing vigorously, the other not so much. I remember comparing their breathing rates and not feeling very optimistic. They were placed on a towel and underneath was a bottle of hot water to keep them warm as they would be if they were next to their mommy, who was at that particular moment wobbling her head, trying to get out of her cage. My friend and her boyfriend were happy Mya was ok and I was too, but I was more focused on the kittens. I don't know if medicine made me see things clearer or if my knowledge and interest in animals held my enthusiasm back, but I was still pretty worried because I knew the danger wasn't gone yet. Maybe it was a combination of both. By the time we got Mya into her carrier (which is in fact mine) the third kitten was declared dead. I witnessed myself how much they tried but they couldn't do anything anymore. Sure, two kittens out of five is still better than none at all, but why did this happen in the first place? Why couldn't she give birth to the rest on her own and why did the little ones didn't make it? I'm still very emotional while writing this, by the way.

    My friend got the carrier, I got the bottle and towel which held the two kittens, those tiny precious treasures. We got home and I made it my goal to look after all of them. Mya was peeing every 15 minutes and didn't find her place, she was trying to walk but was still under heavy anesthesia, so putting the kittens to suckle was out of the question. I was so frustrated. A few hours went by and we managed to make Mya stay in her box long enough so the little ones can eat (and by stay I mean don't let her leave the box and occasionally even hold her down so she wouldn't wobble over the kittens). The smallest one was loud and active, he was looking for mommy's breast and was sure to let us know how upset he was when she would change positions. From that point on I didn't worry about him anymore, I knew he would make it. His brother, on the other hand, had me even more worried than I was before. He didn't latch. I lost count how many times I tried to make him do it. He didn't cry. He was almost limp. His breaths were rare and irregular and when he breathed I could hear a click.


20160702 193808 by Lintu47
This is how we kept him warm, with a bottle of hot water and a
towel right next to mommy's box


   
    In the end, I called my ex brother-in-law, who told me to give the little one 1-2 ml of Glucose before he would come to see them. I did, but it was very difficult to make him open his mouth or even lick the substance after I put a drop in his mouth. I realized he didn't have the suckling instinct, which is extremely rare and has very low survival rates. I knew if this kitten is going to live he had to be fed by us, the humans. I don't know how much you know about taking care of newborn kittens with no suckling instinct but as soon as I realized that it hit me hard that however much we tried, there was little that we could do. I tried to make him latch, keep him warm and give him drops of Glucose until my friend bought a special milk formula. She spent a lot of money that day but all that mattered was to see them all well. The vet performed some maneuvers that in the end made him breathe better, but still not normal. We tried to feed him but how much can you feed a kitten that doesn't latch and barely swallows? I was willing to take time off work to take care of him but we were told not to get our hopes up.


20160703 151049 by Lintu47
You can see little Spartacus (this is my temporary name for him) suckling while his brother
just sat there half limp (placed by me after trying to convince him to latch as well)


   
    My friend and I took turns trying to feed the kitten every 30-60 minutes. I went to sleep late after I managed to make the little one swallow a few drops of formula but I was feeling really down. When I woke up, not many hours later, I was surprised to see him still alive. It gave me hope. I tried to make him latch again, with no success. I took the bottle and tried to feed him this way and surprisingly, even if he didn't latch, he swallowed better. His breaths were rarer than it was normal, but they were regular. He pooed twice, once while I was feeding him and once while I was gently massaging his belly, in the area his mother would lick him to stimulate peeing and pooing. Mya was slowly starting to figure out how a mom should act and she progressively started to take care of the screaming kitten, but didn't pay as much attention to the lazy one. I didn't blame her, I was glad I didn't have to worry about the other one as well.

    All in all, I began hoping again. I fed him a couple more times before my friend and her boyfriend left for their vacation which they had planned long before. They were optimistic that he would slowly start to feed on his own and when they will come back they would find both of them happy and alert. But as fate has it, this wasn't meant to be. Only a few hours after they left I went in the kitchen to keep company to a friend while she ate. It couldn't have been more than half an hour until I got back to the little family and saw the kitten was suspiciously still. He wasn't breathing and was completely limp when I picked him up. I began  performing CPR and occasionally shook him like I saw the vet do to clean his air ways.

    To my great disappointment, I saw his little nose filled with secretions. The more I kept going, the pinker the secretions got. I knew his lungs were filled with them and he is gone, but he was still warm and I didn't stop the CPR. I cleaned him with toilet paper and went on for about 30 minutes until the vet arrived and took over. I was calm and I even talked to that friend that was present, but the whole thing was like it was happening from someone else's pov. The vet tried for 10 more minutes and said there was nothing he can do. I took him back and continued in a mechanic manner to try and bring him back for maybe another 10-15 minutes, time in which the vet declared he was happy with how Mya and the other little one were doing. In the end, I broke down while I kissed him goodbye and handed him over to the vet to dispose of him. I was mentally exhausted and didn't want to do that myself again for the second time in the last 24 hours. Even as I'm writing this I'm tearing up. I had to tell the owners the bad news shortly after and even if they were sad about it, they thanked me over and over again for doing everything I could, but that didn't stop me from wondering if maybe somewhere along the way I did something wrong that caused all of this.

    This is the last picture I have of him after I fed him for the last time. You can see Mya sitting next to us, acting worried. It turns out she is quite a loving mommy as long as she isn't in labor or under anesthesia.


20160703 121024 by Lintu47
I miss you, tiny life!


   
    So... this is the story behind that Instagram photo. I'm sorry I didn't focus more on the positive side, I'm aware it's still there. I'm happy Mya and little Spartacus are doing well, but my heart is still aching for the other ones.

    Today I visited them again and I took some fresh photos with my phone and my camera - I'm not promising anything, but I think I'll upload at least a couple of them over the next few weeks.


13597682 127608654337492 579186776 N by Lintu47
Mya and little Spartacus, 7 days old


    
    EDIT 23.09.2016: Spartacus, now named Toto, found his new home today. The couple that took him seemed lovely!

    If you have pets give them every single bit of love you are capable of and seek medical attention for them when they need it. Treasure them as you would your own children and take care of them until the very end. You are their whole world and their lives depend on YOU. :heart:
    If you want a pet, please ADOPT, don't shop! There are so many beautiful lives that need a forever home. Also, neuter/spay your animals, there are way too many without a home that end up in killing shelters :(


20 truths, 5 lies game #4 - CLOSED

Sat Jun 25, 2016, 9:35 AM
This wasn't planned but here we go! Little fun fact, as soon as I started writing this my cat threw up. Apparently she doesn't fancy the idea of me spending a lot of time thinking of facts to write for this challenge :stare:

Rules


  • I will be posting 25 facts about me: 20 of them are real, 5 are lies. Figure out the 5 lies and leave the numbers in the comment section below. No notes :note: please!
  • No watches/faves/llamas are required to participate, all you need to do is comment.
  • Deviants who will write the 5 numbers in the comments will be automatically included in the raffle.
  • Answers with less or more than 5 numbers will be disqualified.
  • Only 1 comment per person will be considered, so be careful what you write and make sure there are 5 numbers.
  • Once your comment with your guess is posted I will give you a number for the raffle.

Prizes


  • If someone can guess all the lies correctly, he/she will win 100 points :points: (only one person can win this, in the event that two or more guess correctly only the first one who commented will get the points).
  • If no one can guess all the five lies, I will be giving 20 points to 5 winners chosen via random.org.
Good luck!

Let the game begin!


  1.  Every now and then I get weird crushes on people and all I want to do is feed and pet them, just like cats!
  2.  I love fluffy stuff.
  3.  I want to get a tattoo.
  4.  I just bought a new laptop.
  5.  I recently discovered the hardships of choosing drapes and curtains.
  6.  My true and only addiction is the dreaded lip balm.
  7.  I currently have my TV connected to my laptop and a YouTube video is running in the background.
  8.  It's three days left until I will have a second cat.
  9.  I really want to get contact lenses instead of glasses.
  10.  I contemplate on starting a YouTube channel.
  11.  I went to a community pool many years ago and I got sick.
  12.  I don't know how to use Tumblr.
  13.  I had a haircut and now my hair isn't Ombre anymore, just its natural black.
  14.  I once draw a picture of my University experience for a journal and it looked terrible.
  15.  I would really love to have pink hair.
  16.  My Skype id is lintu47.
  17.  My little cousin and my father share the same birthday.
  18.  I sometimes miss being a student.
  19.  I went to East European Comic Con this year.
  20.  I work in a hospital.
  21.  I eat lots of fruits in the summer.
  22.  I almost drowned right next to my father when I was a kid.
  23.  I own a red car.
  24.  I would love to have a Game of Thrones themed mug.
  25.  I am attending a wedding in another country next year.

Deadline


The challenge has started and it ends 16th July 2016 12AM EEST time (GMT+2). Results will be announced later in the day! To make sure you post your comment in time click here to see the countdown. Have fun! :heart:


Praising Life Project Contest Results

Journal Entry: Sat Jun 25, 2016, 6:46 AM


1st place vexnir :iconvexnir:


Revolution. by vexnir
Away from the light. by vexnir The Right To Exist. by vexnir Trick or treat? by vexnir Victor Mikhaylov by vexnir
Ember. by vexnir To See Beauty. by vexnir United we bleed. by vexnir



2nd place Talexior :icontalexior:


Music by Talexior
The Brightest Witch by Talexior Up and Up by Talexior A Girl Has No Name by Talexior



Honorable mentions


Praising Life Project - Oh JoyOh Joy
30-12-15
There are many things that bring me joy, but none so much as this;
Writing, in its purest form, poetry
And sometimes prose, for me,
Is the most eternal bliss.
If I had words like grain in granaries in my mind, surely I would find
That writing would happen every day,
In every which way,
And in time, oh how in time it would shine.
There are other things that bring me joy, but none so much as you;
Oh pen, so firmly in my hand,
Bringing thoughts from o’er the land
Straight from my mind to paper, like dew
In the morning waiting to be soaked up by the sun,
My words run over pages white,
Throughout the day or cursed night.
Words outdoing words that are emotions undone.
There are some things that bring me joy, but emotions are rough;
For what is joy, if it is not an emotion fraught
With fear and fire and eternal thought
That surely this pain has been enough?
If joy comes through the dark in a dawn
Then hark the heralds sing,
Upon a new wing
My words will fly
Joy Of Life (PLP Contest)
Traveling, roaming, painting pictures,
Dancing and floating to music,
Laughing und writing poetry,
Kissing, loving – life.
A tone comes into life.
The sound wants to exist.
A song makes me tremble.
I let it in.
Tasting good old wine,
Sliding above hovering clouds,
Running through the meadows in the morning,
Swimming, playing – living.
A word may stir.
The sentence makes sense.
A verse wants to move.
I write it down.
Enjoying good meals,
Striving to hike to the summits,
Drinking rain, sunbathing,
Hugging children and trees – life.
I have seen something.
Vision wants a shape.
The picture may arise.
I paint it soon.
Reading books, watching movies,
Rising out of gray fug,
Smelling curious at flowers,
Feeling myself free – living.
Flower Sunshine, you make me mine
Flower Sunshine, you make me mine
A flower shining as I'm fine
Seeing past days of cold
I start feeling less of old
Flower Sunshine, you make me fine
To chrochet as I climb
Stitch by stitch an Angel forms
To light the dark of my Storms
Flower Sunshine, as I climb
Up the Hill, as a sign
Remembering days of the old
Reading ways as I'm told
Flower Sunshine, you are a sign
That someday else I'll dine
With the teachers I respect
And teachings I'll have to peck
Flower Sunshine, as I dine
I might think of the biggest pine
Which might stand by, in the night
Waiting for a shot so bright

happiness is in five-minute catnaps by cyanoscarlet Come On by Shirokibo The Good Life by Egil21
'Art and Imagination' by TheHiddenArk PLP Entry - The Beauty of Nature by Sketch-Art-292002
...Sound of Silence... by SilentDreamer-Art :: A Moment in Solitude :: by SummerDreams-Art Streams (plp entry) by ErnestVentures
Spring Rain by WillTC Duck Time by taibossigai CE: Tranquil Joy by Lilavendre
The Original Artist: Praising Life Project by Aloubell PLP Entry - Sounds of Nature by lauraypablo PLP Entry: The small things by DancesWithDreams
Bruno by Stratox Love by ninebark Farmer-Pug by AlexKuhn
Music in the forest by Secretadmires Creating (Myself) - PLP Contest Entry by Lumate [PLP Entry] Happiness by odandelion PLP Contest Entry by Kkoral
Contest : Let's our battle begin ! by Jolsma PLP Entry: Float by sJibbi Happiness is a New Life by WDWParksGal PLP Contest Entry - Kitty Hug by OnTheMountainTop
Live and Let Live- Praising Life Project. by Tudalia Little Man and Inara (PLP Entry) by Amarantheans Mommy and me by NikySHouse


Congratulations to everyone who participated :heart:


Updates on personal life #9

Journal Entry: Sat Jun 18, 2016, 9:14 AM



Points i'll be covering:
:pointr: Almost moved in
:pointr: YouTube channel?


:heart:

I. Almost moved in


     YUSS!! The hype for the new apartment is real! The furniture came and on Tuesday the washing machine and microwave arrive as well! The only thing left that is a must have before moving in are the curtains :eager: Then there's of course the AC but due to the complex's internal rules of only being allowed to have the external unit on your balcony and not on the building's walls i'll have to go for a much more expensive approach - a multisplit AC... so yeah. It costs a fortune and i'll have to move in before actually getting it. I guess something had to go wrong :stare:
 

:heart:

II. YouTube channel?


    You can call it my midlife crisis, but i'm actually contemplating of having a YT channel. I have no idea what i would do with it or with what skills and equipment i'm supposed to run it, but... somehow i feel like i should give it a chance? Like this is what i've been missing all this time? Did you ever felt like this about something? Please let me know, i really need feedback on this :heart:


:heart:

    As i said in the last journals, "i cannot emphasize enough the importance of routine checkups and doctor visits when something unusual comes up, regardless of how unimportant it might seem to you at the moment. Please don't ignore your health, it's the most precious thing you were born with and you have to protect it". I mean every word of it. And take care of your pets too, either it's a budgie or a cat, a hamster or a dog, they all feel pain and we, as their friends and caretakers, need to treat them as part of the family. Do not ever abandon your pet in their time of need!
    Lastly, don't wait for special occasions to express your feelings to those you love, life is unpredictable and you never know how much time you have left to spend with your loved ones, so make every moment of it count.
    I will be back with personal updates when i will have other news for you. I appreciate every message from you, your support means a lot to me. Meanwhile, take care of yourselves and enjoy life! :hug:

Love,
Cristina.


Mature Content

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MAF 25

Journal Entry: Sat Jun 4, 2016, 7:25 AM


All that glitters... by aarontyree
Bear and bird by LelpelCommission: Lazuli by RedlyJester
COFFEE PACKAGING by KibiQeQFairy sculpture / suncatcher by illustrisdesignsColdhands by AlcoholicRattleSnake
Too cute by DrkavI, Mage TPB Vol 2 Cover by Javadoodle
Hellboy by pietro-antMuhammad Ali by davidbrookerMysterious Lady by jen-and-kris
 T e a r s by kyuuseishaYana by BIOCITY2
Giddy-up by joniwagnerartSHE-HULK by SKY-BOYpath by Wilqkuku
97: Curl of the Core by FramedByNatureLormet-mural-0486E2sml by Lormet-Images
Hole in My Head by Ragnar949Alice behind the leaf by tunguska-rdm
Day 155 of my 2016-a drawing every day resolution. by shonechackoTravel in June by kosharik69
Laura by Ddenisee
Sitting Reference Of Tereza 14 by ArtistReferencesL'infante aux yeux ouverts qui veut faire dodo by MD-Arts
Dont look back... by aarontyreeChen. by ririssred bathing suit by pachyphytum
Peacock Mask by SilverCicadaLittle bird by aileensea
Rhina by Hart-WorxRain by aglezerman
Satans Hollow #6 by meguroboninAzazel, Angel of Sacrifices by PeteMohrbacher
Water purification by marijebertingBeside the dune by crazypalette
A wet afternoon by bohomaz13Winter Never Quite Ends, Does It? by unmagnanimousRed Heads 2 by recipeforhaight
Rabbit from Rabbit's Hill by DafewfDaily Paint 1291. Ba-nyan-a Split by Cryptid-Creations
Comm. - Even Heroes have Heroes by xTh13teeNxFaded by Weissglut
Army Of Me by NanoMortis
TeamCap by JocelynAdaWeaponry 498 by Random223
Doll bride.. by elianeckLight My Fire by ToradhLet me be clear.... by aarontyree
Laurel and Hardy by donchildCharcarodontosaurus Saharicus by FutureAesthetic
cottage 1 by artmobeGuess, who... by pnn32
Cackles by kenket
loneliness by monstre210Portgas D Ace by leneko*** by OlgaAthens
Inverted SALT eye by AtomiccircuS
Family Of Four - Marzipan Chicks by theresahelmerCome Up And See Me Sometime! by Roy3D
Secret Garden by michellemoniqueNo No No Artwork by jordangrimmer
Elegant Armor Gown by Lillyxandra
chiara by LichtReizeGhost March by DavidCraigEllis
Temari by HarpiyaAmbitions by PascalCampionSci-Fi 2 by IIDanmrak
Belle by Hanny-HoneymoonTest Paint Chickens by Reptangle
flush by AppleSeries
Nightmare Moon by Itacocat
Sailormoon: Red Rose by ippusSpotted bunny-plushie by IsisMasshiroJust a Matter of Time by Lady-ObsidiAnne
Harmony by luisbcFuntime Foxy!! MORE WIP!!!!! (aaaa) by Qutiix
Issun by MagnaStormMasha by photoport
Well-Earned Dinner by Oriotomorning shower by DanHecho
Wasteland Warriors by MachineFairy
Into My Soul by xNorthwindxFinally! by PanHesekielShiroi
Champion07 by yannicklecoqsea foam by vampire-zombie
Wolf Link by BlueFlameWolfThe Woods Da by Massi-San
Softness Spring 2 by Pierre-LagardeSculpted Pups etsy sale theme: white by SculptedPups
Takara Ornament by soulofwinter
Red Tower by InterstellarDeejWork by Hengki24
Shielder Mashu from Fate/Grand Order by cursedappleAquaman _ Marcio Abreu by MARCIOABREU720160602 Gorilla Psdelux by psdeluxe
In the Valley of Boiled Water... by MirielVinyaSweet Poison by LleyeAshen One by Elleybug
wild food by NierisMoonGlow by JaezX
[Commission: Kaneki Ken] - 'Light of Crepuscule' by muddymelly
For RebaThose legs
that can not
walk
one day
will fly...
And your
beauty,
your
soulful,
inner
beauty
bring you
one step
closer
to the sky...
     Edge of EmptinessAt times you will be powerless.
You will be unable to do a damn thing
To stop the wreckage you see unfolding before you
And the consequences will come in blood.
Those moments are bitter
And they fill you with hatred
So much so that you'll wish;
You'll wish for everything around you to simply die!
And when it has, when all around you is blackened dust...
Finally, finally, there won't be anyone left
To ever see you cry.
- Written by Word of Chen, Masquerade series - Poem 2
     Ballade SupremeOn a bright day in early fall
I walk along a sunny street
Outside a building's concrete wall
All day have I been on my feet
All day the pavement have I beat
To my fatigue do I abide
To find a seat do I thus stride
A place to rest my weary bones
A chair with which I can confide
In a silent moment alone
I find a bench and I recall
How kind and refreshing a treat
Is the art of sitting, though small,
As to my pleasure my rear greets
The wood, it feels as though I cheat
Whatever fates would decide
That my repose should be denied
I maintain this time as my own
To in cognition reside
In a silent moment alone
I wonder as I watch the mall
What meaningless destinies meet
Within its superficial halls
Within the waning summer heat
Do the frivolous masses bleat
In their shallow, unfounded pride?
As arrogance and fate collide
To each human can it be known
That back to dust will men reside
In a silent moment alone
As though the air the sunlight glides
And much of the mall's noise has died
I sit upon

Mature Content

     Days as a Schizophrenic (Poem)You don't understand
Or maybe I can't explain
This life that I live
And how I deal with the pain
The mind is but fickle
And a slave to its design
Does it try to keep sustaining
Even though it runs blind
The symptoms are there
And you'll never believe
All the words that I hear
And the memories I grieve
The world is a mess
And reality is dazed
Contorted by madness
That is driving me crazed
Pills keep me stable
But not happy or at peace
They bring control to the madness
Just a few moments of release
I wish for a cure
To live a life worth living
But my fate has no mercy
And peace it is not giving
I lay on the floor
Asking why my head spins
Whether it is a fault of my own
Or of my chemicals within
All I know is the haze
As conversations turn to mumbles
And my head cannot proc
     WhispersI don't think I've found,
In any world,
Someone like you...
I can't explain it,
Not in any reality,
What it is...
That pulls me to you...
          They
  are             your
          eyes...
Always watching me,
Looking at me,
With such trepidation,
Ultimate dedication...
I want you to feel my words,
To know that I am here,
For my presence to surround you...
         It
   is           your
        soul...
Enveloping all that is a part of me,
Devouring me whole,
Like the greedy, lonely sea...
And it is where I drown,
Starkly, hopelessly lost,
Eternally alone,
Every moment I am without you...
        Here
   in           my
        hell...
I have always been stuck here,
With no way out,
And no way to reach you,
No way of even knowing where you are..



Mature Content

This content is intended for mature audiences.


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